Survive

Things are coming, but there are still many obstacles to make it run smoothly. You understand all sides, but there's really no choice but to compromise because the other option is grim. I hate that we are in this situation yet again. So difficult. 

HeartBuds

 So I finally bought a bluetooth earphone because I saw it was on sale, 50% off and a price point I could afford! I still like the sound of writed earphones better but I acknowledge going wireless is more ideal when I commute and also ideal to use when in bed as well. It's a heart-shaped earbud because it is marketed to women but I don't care it's cheap and works well so far. I hope it will last long!

Unpleasant

I'm tired of dealing with people seeking drama. Loud mouth but when you get into trouble for over stuff that you can just let go, what's gonna happen then? Unnecessary stress! Boredom is not an excuse to seek stress!

Invitation

 So I received from one of the officers of the current team of my beloved Heraldo Filipino. They're inviting me to be a guest speaker at their year-start activity. Of course, I said yes! I would love to visit my school again, the last time I was there was over a decade ago when I was again invited by the HF EB then to be a panelist for their EB application interview. It's also a nice touch because it was 2005 when I was accepted by HF so 2 decades later I will be a guest to a whole new generation of idealistics campus journalist! It makes my heart smile. I'm not an eloquent person but I will try my best to impart how HF has become instrutmental on how I became as an adult navigating the real world. 

AD

I've been doing audio description writing for some streaming movies lately and it's quite fascinating. It's a feature I didn't know existed until I learned it on my job about two years ago. I now find myself turning audio description features more frequently, first to study how they are written but I'm actually digging it now and it enhances my viewing experience. I've been a dubbing/ADR writer for more than a decade already so nice to have another writing skill that watching TV/movie is needed!

Amor

I'm so happy that after nearly two months, we will be fed! It's still not the ideal amount to keep things in a safer zone, but definitely better than the dry spell for nearly 2 months. Thank you Lord and please keep them coming!

Wrong Send

It was so weird that I suddenly felt something emotional then apparently there was something that happened almost at the same time when I felt it that is actually connected to it.  It was a surprise discovery really and I was really upset. But I composed myself and didn't tell anyone. It's not really a big deal in the grand scheme of things. Now I think I'm okay. There's just a lot of stressful things bugging my mind and hopefully I will get over this phase soon.

Gaps

Nothing again. 

Next day awaits.

But now spiralling internally. 

So many contingency plans in my head. 

So many I would do things differently 

So many wishes and regrets.

A tinge of reproachments too

I know it's unjustified though.

So I keep all those thoughts in.

It will be a recurrence

Until I feel secure and safe.

When....

Nothing again. It really sucks. Maybe tomorrow. 

Just Keep Moving

Hoping this would be the week where we receive some good news. It has been such a struggle mentally speaking to handle all these worries and uncertainty but I kept on moving along. But really, please let it be this week!

Facts First

 I first knew of Christian Esguerra when I attended UST's campus journalism workshop INKBLOTS nearly 20 years ago and he was one of the speakers. Then and until now one of my favorite journalists! I

5k

 Not exactly a good month, although I always remind myself that I had far worse experiences around this time in recent years to keep things in perspective. But it has been a struggle; it's so hard to be happy

I tried so hard....

 Falling into nostalgia rabbit holes again on YouTube! Always bittersweet, trying my best not to be that sad because of feeling things! But I guess it's okay to have an outlet to let those feelings be out there. I always try to bury those feelings inside. I just can't be paralyzed with these thoughts. I just can't. And I know I feel these things because of external factors. Hopefully, things will brighten up soon. I'm holding like always but I'm such a mess inside. 

408

 Day didn't go as planned.... or rather didn't go as hoped. But oh well, still had some moments when I escaped from the usual. Made me feel a little nostalgic too. And you know with nostalgia comes a tinge of sadness. Anyway, back to the grind tomorrow. 

Next Page

I bought a book after a year! This is the sequel to the Three Body Problem book that I really loved and it says something because I'm not really into sci-fi but this one just grabbed my attention. With Three Body Problem, I saw the TV show first so I have an idea already when I was reading but this sequel I know nothing about so excite to dive in!

 

It's Okay!

 Glad to have something on the horizon to look forward to now! I still want more of course but nonetheless this is a good start. Now, I kinda worry that things could will be overwhelming next month but that's a good problem than what we have been subjected to the past few weeks of barely walking. Still praying hard for more to come especially as the 4th quarter is coming near, we badly need it!

Openings

 There's some pathways I saw today but there's still worry about them actually becoming a thing and if it does become a thing it could be chaotic and disorganized but I still it willl push through because it is so much needed and whatever obstacles that we could face, let's just cross the bridge when we get there and find solutions because now more than ever we needed something, anything to keep things afloat. T.H.E.S.T.R.U.G.G.L.E

Give Thanks

 Oh Dear Lord, I admit when I am overwhelmed with stressful stuff I do tend to neglect the good things happening and blessing and today I was reminded of how things could have been so much worse and thank you God for guiding my family and keeping them away from harm. I will strive my best not to forget this whenever I face uncertain stressful moments. 

Leanne

 I watched this new sitcom on Netflix - Leanne. It's from the same team who did my other sitcoms faves Mom, Bob Hearsts Abishola and the Sheldonverse. It's not as  funny as those shows yet but it has a good heartwarming and comforting feel to it. I enjoyed binging it today. I hope it gets a season 2 but if it doesn't the end was quite nice already. 

Floats

 Another about to end with so many questions in my mind. So many lingering thoughts that really scare me. I'm really hoping and praying that next week will bring in good news because it has been so difficult struggling to stay positive.