It's really unsettling to see fear in her eyes. This time I have to be the grown up and I'm not sure if I have what it takes. I'm somehow in denial of everything. I know and accept what the deal is but I'm not mentioning it because it just makes things feel more real. See this blog post, I'm being vague because I can't type out the true words because it makes me feel so sad and scared. I'm such a coward but still trying my best to be brave. I don't want them to feel how scared I am.