I'm training myself to not care that deep anymore even though it's in my nature. Maybe caring a little less will make me happier or at the very least not to sink further in the abyss of frustrations. How much can I even do anymore at this point? Maybe just caring right in the middle will make me feel less troubled. I should give some space for selfishness.... or self care whatever. Maybe apathy is the way to go? I don't know, I'm just sick of the cycle.