Reeling

My recklessness is still giving me a lesson. In a way, I feel that life is unfair that the one time (okay 4 times) I pursued what I want, I get to pay the consequences. But of course, my rational side took over and said "You had it coming".  It really is my fault that I'm in this dilemma right now.  But I hope this really stops right here and there will be no further struggles again because this is already eating me alive. This challenge I can still cope with and I do know the way to make it better in the long run. I'm still anxious over things but I'm trying to hold on to that hope that it will be fine, right? Oh please Lord let it be fine,