*New year but still the same old feeling of discontent. I will do my best to get out of this phase as soon as possible. I was actually in good spirits for awhile because there were things to distract me I guess. But today I blame my phone whose battery drained faster than usual so I was not able to listen to Spotify or radio on my commute back home. You see, I have at least an hour travel and during the lull moments I often find myself thinking a lot of things so that's why I needed something to listen to so I won't have these thoughts overtaking my mind again.
* A few weeks ago I had a chat with a friend and we were talking about her youngest kid who is entering senior high this coming school year. I asked what track is he planning to take and she said humanities because he wants to have a career in mass media. I jokingly told her that it's not the practical decision "look at me". We laughed it off. Earlier we had a chat again and she told me that his son will still pursue that track even though she told him that it may not be practical and actually used my words as piece of advice. I was a surprised because I didn't mean to be that kind of cynical person who will trample on a young person's dream. What have I become? I admit I'm mostly pessimistic but of course deep in my heart I'm still a dreamer.
*Browsing Facebook never fails to bring out a side of me I really hate. I rarely browse and the time I do I still stumble to something in my timeline that will once again trigger emotions I hate feeling. I saw a post from an acquaintance I met at a campus journalism workshop a decade ago. He is now based abroad and was interviewed by a local news channel to get his insights on a national issue. I was impressed and of course felt little again. He is going places and while I am basically.... I'll stop..
*Which brings me to this: This March will mark the 10th year since I graduated from college. I will try not to feel bad that whatever my goal back then never happened nor am I near where I thought would be at this point of my life. I will try to avoid 'how time flies" or "napag iwanan" thoughts.
*I made a big deal in previous posts about my year end chart tradition if I should stop or not. Well basically I didn't fully abandon it but made some changes. I no longer tried to listen and list down multiple radio year end charts at once. I just listened to one station at night and stopped when we were about to eat (in previous years I had my headphones while eating). I guess I can call it a progress.