I hate to feel this way, that now I prefer the sadder option because if this continues it is basically just one big hell for all of us. Maybe there's still hope but I feel scared. Not gonna lie I'm questioning everything about why this happening and how it has gotten worst that surpasses even my worst fears. Maybe we deserve it. Or do I deserve it? My mind is spiraling and keeping it together is harder than usual but please Lord listen to my prayer. I beg you
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