And once again what I was hoping to get today didn't happen. I'm so tired. In typical fashion, I'm having apprehensions on what I should do next. How can I fight for myself? My emotions are high so I don't want it to overwhelm because I need to be as calm as possible. But what if because of this mindset I have to be careful with what I say, careful to not rock the boat, is what it is really hurting me all my life. The reason why I often lose in life. Turning 34 in 2 months, a full pledged adult yet I feel like I'm not one. I'm so sad right now.